A Personal “Stop Doing” List – Part 2

OK … last blog post of 2013.  This is part two of a blog post from last week.

Before continuing, I am going to avoid making predictions for 2014 with one exception … travelabulous will start to have a real impact on the online travel planning business by the end of the year.  How big will that impact be?  Well, “fear” is going to stop me short of that prediction 😉

To pick up where we left off …

(6) Controlling

How I Do – I think I am good here in most regards.  It is certainly obvious that one can accomplish so much more if you have a circle of people you trust to get things done.  With each passing year, I do enjoy watching other people accomplish things around me than the accomplishments being mine directly.  However, I likely do control some things more than I need to.  For 2014, I think I will seek to understand why this is  …

My Advice – Realize that you can only accomplish so much on your own.  Learn to grant trust first – don’t always make people earn it before trusting them.  It takes too much of your time and can eat at their confidence.

(7) Criticizing

How I Do – Not nearly as well as I would like.  The issue here is that there is a fine line between analyzing everything you see to get better and being overly critical of people in the process.  I can honestly say that my intent here is genuine.  We are all a long way from perfect and I am certainly more critical of myself than anyone else.  However, my vocabulary could be better (objective vs personal) and I could be more patient.  Hey, how did “impatience (with people)” survive this list ?!?!

My Advice – This one is likely pretty obvious.  Respect people for their differences as well as their similarities.  Be careful with your language and even more careful with your judging.  I know the walls are made of glass in my house at least.

(8) Preaching

How I Do – I think I am on a continual improvement program on this one.  Preaching is a bit in the eye of the receiver, but I certainly hope I am getting better year over year.  One thing I know for sure is that each year I learn more and realize that I know less.

My Advice – Just think about how it feels to be on the other end of someone’s “sermon” and ask yourself if you do that.  More importantly, you are going to learn a lot more by floating a part of a bigger idea and seeking feedback and going from there.  Even more importantly, this will lead to better relationships with people and better personal happiness, which was the point of Haden’s list in the first place.

(9) Dwelling

How I Do – I am not much of a “dweller.”  If anything I might be a bit guilty of moving on from the past before people are ready, which can lead to hurting relationships if not handled properly.  One thing I do like to think about a lot is … talking about a potential future is a lot more invigorating and productive than talking about the present; talking about the present is a lot better than dwelling on the past.

My Advice – Try imagining future states and talking about these when you find yourself wanting to dwell on the past.  The past is gone.  You can’t change it.  You can certainly learn from it, but use it to shape the conversations about the future.  This is what makes them possible – knowing what might or might not work based on experience.

(10) Fearing

How I Do – Well, 2014 is really going to answer this question.  Sure I get pulled by the allure of the “security” of working for someone – getting a regular bank deposit, benefits, a support network, and all those things.  However, I feel like I have to ignore the fear of uncertainty and forge on and start this travel company with people I trust.  Maybe what I am really doing is thinking about a future where I didn’t take that chance and that is what makes me “afraid.”

My Advice – First off, everyone has a different risk profile, so you have to be honest with yourself about your own.  No matter what though, you should always ask yourself, “what is the worst than can happen?”  You will likely find that you will be a lot less afraid when you think about the downside.  If you want to take advice from the economist community, get good at understanding the differences between “sunk” and “opportunity” costs.  It will help with dwelling too.

Well, that ends this list.  I really hope it wasn’t “preachy” 😉

Happy New Year everyone!  Oh, and one more small prediction … expect to hear a lot on travel planning in 2014.

’til next year …  Kirk, out.

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